The Dynamic Duo
by Mythicatalyst
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke are good friends, and have a mind for mischief... And metal... Kidding! These are the recounts of their many adventures across the Elemental Nations. Most of which involve international incidents which put the villages at each others throats...
1. The Trebuchet

**Title: The Dynamic Duo**

**Summary (full): Naruto and Sasuke are good friends, and have a mind for mischief... And metal... Kidding! These are the recounts of their many adventures across the Elemental Nations. Most of which involve international incidents which put the villages at each others throats... But its all fun and games! Until someone gets pissed at someone else and tries to scoop out their eyes... Not that we know anyone who would do that.**

**Greetings all!. The post-chapter content is a little bland here. But I assure you, it will be more in-depth as we go on. (As we have more chapters, I mean) For more info, read end of Chapter. Preferably by actually reading the story first.**

**-0-**

**Chapter One: The Trebuchet**

**-0-**

-**Leaf Village**-

Naruto and Sasuke were sitting under a tree one summer afternoon, gazing off into space, not at all weirded out that they were sitting next to eachother. Sakura stood nearby, looking at the two curiously. '_They've been acting so strange..._'

Then the tranquil silence was broken.

"What about a catapult?" Naruto looked up.

Sasuke stared at him for a moment, contemplating, before shaking his head roughly, "No, the friction would still slow it down too much."

"Which fri-"

"The air kind."

"Ohhh..."

And there was silence again. Sakura sighed, not sure if she should be worried about Sasuke's charmingly stereotyped personality being altered by his frequent conversations with Naruto. '_He's just been acting weirder, and weirder..._'

"A trebuchet?"

"Isn't that the same-"

"No, big difference."

"Okay, but do you know how to-"

Sasuke shrugged, "I'll figure it out."

"Last time you said that we blew the top off-"

"I told you, that never happened."

Naruto grinned, "The Kumo-nin seemed to think otherwise."

The avenger narrowed his eyes, "Did they-"

"Yup."

"And you-"

"I told them you went..." Naruto paused, then pointed East, "That-a-way."

"Hmm... Could be worse."

"How?"

"I don't know. But everytime you say it can't get any worse, it always does. Usually by raining."

Naruto stroked his chin, nodding sagely, "Right, so it could be raining right now."

"Not exactly my point.."

"Whatever!" he glanced over at Sakura, "Oi! When is Kakashi getting here?"

"Huh?" Sakura looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

Sasuke punched him in the shoulder. "Dude, Kakashi was already-"

"Then why-"

"Trebuchet."

"Ah..."

"..."

"So do you think if we-"

"No, it would tip over-"

"But if we als-"

"That would knock the balance out of proportion..."

"Like the last one?"

Sasuke sighed, "Yes Naruto, just like the last one."

"Well, do we really nee-"

"Can't see a way to do this without it."

Having had quite enough, Sakura gave up on today's fawning of the Uchiha, and promptly left the scene. Not without her own theories though. Naruto observed her exit silently, before speaking up again.

"So, wanna go get a loan to-"

"I'm still in debt from the last one, can't you-"

"Me? A loan? Thats rich."

"Good point..."

Naruto's ears pirked up, "I bet granny can help!"

"She'd never-"

"Who said we-"

"Lying to the Hokage?" Sasuke shook his head, "Tsk, tsk Naruto. Thats a one-way ticket to prison..."

"..."

"..."

"You game?"

He nodded, "Lets do it."

-**Hokage Tower**-

Tsunade, was having a nice day, all things considered. Paper-work had been scarce that so far, and she had mostly been reading magazines and drinking sake. So she was in a good mood. But her joyous solitude was interrupted by a certain blond.  
(No, not Naruto. Temari... *deadpans*)

"Oi! Granny!" Naruto kicked the door down and came strolling into the room.

She developed a tick mark, "I told you not to call me that!"

"Yeah yeah, deal with it!"

Naruto coughed, "Now, down to business!" Naruto whipped out a pair of sunglasses and pulled out a suit-case.

She stared at it, "Whats that for?"

"Plan B."

"Ohh..." She paused, glaring at him, "Whats plan A?"

He whistled innocently, "Nothing."

Tsunade shrugged, "Whatever, what do you want?"

"I need a loan from the treasury."

She glared at him, feeling more paperwork approaching. "For what?"

Naruto scratched his chin, "A business trip, which I require funding for..."

"Trip? As in... You, leaving the village for a few days?.."

He was silent, not sure what answer she would prefer.

Tsunade pulled out a form entitled 'Loan' and asked him, "How much?"

"Sixty-five thousand ryo."

Her eyes nearly bulged out, "W-wh-why so much?"

He shrugged, "Expenses... The commodities there, have quite the price."

She saw the logic, but had her concerns. "There it is. But I have to take procautions..."

Naruto inwardly groaned, not being the most anxious to be slowed down by whatever boundaries she was placing, "Being?"

"An escort."

The Jinchuriki raised his eyebrow, his brain flooded with new-found curiousity, "Who?"

"Depends, when do you depart?"

"This afternoon, Five O-clock."

"From?"

He stared at her, face unbelieving, "Theres only one way into the Village..."

Tsunade sweat-dropped, "Whatever... How long will you be gone exactly?"

"We'll be gone.. Oh, I'd say, at least a week."

She nodded, then looked up, "We?"

"Sasuke's tagging along."

Tsunade quickly signed it and handed it to him.

"Done. Now leave!" She pointed at the door, "And take your time! No need to return any time soon!"

Naruto raised his eyebrow, but nonetheless complied.

When he shut the door, Tsunade immediately flipped on her intercom. "Shanzi! Get me a list of all active Jounin in the village NOW!"

-**Outside**-

Naruto exited the building, smiling triumphantly. He found Sasuke was leaning against the wall, "Well?"

"I got it."

"How much?"

"Sixty five."

He snorted, "Hundred?"

"Thousand."

"Nice, but did you have to resort to-"

"Wanted to, but she caved easily."

He nodded, "How'd you do?"

Naruto sighed, "It sucked! I almost ran out of big words to use!"

Sasuke sighed, "Idiot... Well, at least we got it."

They started walking down the street, towards the bank. Naruto suddenly snapped his fingers, "Crap! Almost forgot! She's sending an escort with-"

"Did she say who?"

"Nah, said it depends."

"*sigh*... For all that is good and holy in the world, lets hope it's not any of the Genin. Or Shika-"

"Why?"

"Too many questions, is too troublesome..."

-**5 PM; Gate leading to Wave**-

"Augh... Whats taking them so long?!" Kurenai sighed and tapped her foot, getting irritated by their lack of presence, why was she assigned to _them_? Of all people...

She sighed, '_Oh well... Lets hope this trip isn't __**completely**__ angsty..._'

And their choice in vacation? '_Thats probably all this is..._'

Wave country.

Sure, it had reached a new level in prosperity since Gato had been killed and his goons fought off, but that didn't make it a desireable location, by any means. She looked off into the distance, recalling what little details she had been briefed in, regarding the situation.

-_**Flashback**_-

_"You called, Hokake-sama?" Kurenai poked her head through the doorway, to find a somber, sober, and thoughtful looking Tsunade._

_"Yes, enter. And please, have a seat." She gestured to the chair by the desk._

_She slowly sat herself down._

_"I must be brief, your mission will start in a couple of hours." She nodded, staring intently._

_"Naruto came to me, not ten minutes ago, haggling for a loan, said it was for a business trip. Now, he either meant, a vacation, or something sinister... Because you and I both know that Naruto, doesn't do business."_

_Tsunade chuckled, shaking her head, "The amount puzzled me, he requested sixty-five thousand ryo."_

_Kurenai blinked, "For what?!"_

_"Expenses, he said."_

_"..."_

_"Have you noticed, him acting rather oddly, as of late?"_

_She shook her head, "Can't say I have. I have not seen him for several months.."_

_Tsunade sighed, "Exactly... Naruto couldn't go more than an hour without doing something absurd, craving attention... But now, it seems that he has changed. At least since his friendship with the Uchiha."_

_"Sasuke? What does he have to do with this?"_

_"I have no idea. But he will be with Naruto on this trip." She paused, "In fact, they have dissapeared frequently these past months. And at the same time, usually a bit after their return... I recieve word from neihboring Villages, mainly Kumo and Kiri... Of incidents which have either embaressed them greatly, silenced important dilligants or higher-up nobles... Or just damaged notable amounts of property."_

_Tsunade sighed, and pulled out a bottle of sake, pouring some into a shot glass._

_"Jiraiya's reports from spies across the world, have led me to believe... That they are behind most, if not all of these instances."_

_"May I inquire as to the details of these escapades?"_

_She shook her head, "You may not, I have no need for you to be biased against them, just because of your own opinion."_

_"I understand, Hokage-sama. But what am I to do?"_

_She downed the glass, and glared at her, "Your mission is strictly infiltration, into their doings.. They leave for Wave, and may go elsewhere. Tag along, as an escort. And dig for info. By any means necessary, you will have confirmation as to their activities upon your return."_

-_**End Flashback**_-

'_Well... This is by far, the strangest mission I've ever done... Espionage against some of our own? Weird stuff._'

"Meh? Kurenai-sensei?" She turned around, to be graced with the sight of... The strangest thing ever.

Naruto and Sasuke sat on an odd contraption, resembling a wagon in appearance. Although, it lacked a mule, or pony. Thus, in her train of thought, it took the Jounin a moment to realize that he had spoken to her, "Er... Yes! Hokake-sama has asked me to escort you for the duration of your trip."

Naruto shrugged, "Cool story! Climb aboard!"

She hesitated, looking at the vehicle, suspiscion riddled in her eyes..

"This is a wagon!" He grinned at her, "You do know what a wagon is, right?"

"Of course!" She nodded furiously, a light blush forming on her cheeks, "Its just that... How can it move?"

Naruto made an 'Ooohhh' face, and said "I designed a seal, that pulses chakra throughout a specified path, which goes to the back wheels; the chakra coming from the driver. Being me, since I have a bunch!" He spun the tube-shaped object in his hand around, "And this thing controls the front wheels directio-"

"Oh, my god... Shut up Naruto. I've heard that speech too many times... And it gets more ridiculous every time you explain it!" Naruto snapped his head at Sasuke.

"Well, she hasn't heard-"

"She has now, and what has been heard-"

"Cannot be unheard, yeah yeah yeah... I still don't believe that thats a word."

"In the tongue of the imbecile, believe it."

"Hey! Don't call me things I don't understand!"

"Why?"

"'Cause it makes trash-talking contests harder!"

"..."

"So, what do you call this thing? With the seals and stuff." She quickly added, not looking for another smartass answer.

Naruto shrugged, "Hell if I know..." he turned to the prodigy, "Hey Sasuke! What should we call this thing? And don't you dare suggest-"

"Car."

He shook his head and punched Sasuke in the arm, "Fuck that! Who would name anything 'Car'?"

"Lots of people."

"Those people are stupid!" Naruto shot back.

"Your stupid."

"Fuck you! I mean, thats like... As bad as the name 'Box'! Or 'Cow'!"

Kurenai climbed aboard the vessel, threw her bag into the back and sighed, feeling like this was going to be a long trip... She brought her gaze to them as the 'Car' thing started moving.

"So, whats your purpose in Wave?" Sasuke glanced at her, "Got some business-"

"By the way, Kurenai-sensei! Do you know how to build a tre-"

"Of course she doesn't, does she look like an expert carpenter with fifty years of knowledge?"

Naruto scrutinized Kurenai, squinting his eyes, "I don't know... Never seen one."

"Wasn't Tazuna-"

"He was a bridge-builder."

"And?"

"There's a difference, trust me..."

Kurenai smirked, sensing a challenge, '_Hm... Looks like neither one of them wan't their plans to get out, and they have each others backs... I'll have to talk to them seperately._' this wouldn't be a piece of cake, which was good, cause thats how she rolled.

Naruto scowled at the Uchiha, '_Wow... He's just stuck up... She might actually know __**something**__... Even if she isn't fifty years old..._' his breath caught, '_Then again... Granny is like, a hundred, and she uses Genjutsu to keep herself young... And people say Kurenai-sensei is a genjutsu mistress or something..._' With newfound suspiscion, Naruto didn't know what the hell to do.

Sasuke glared her '_Hn, I wonder why Hokage-sama wants an escort... When she never ordered one before.. I'll keep an eye on her.._'  
'**Nay, she is too careful to relent any information on accident...**' Came the creepy voice in his head, that acted without orders. '**Without my help, that is... Let me do as I please, I shall interrogate her most violently, and sensually, to find the truth...**' Sasuke sighed, '_That is __**sooo**__ not how I do things... Which is why we didn't go to Orochimaru..._'

-**Six, Hours, Later...**-

The moon was huge, and right over them when they stopped to make camp. The whole 'making' part took like, two minutes. Thanks to a fireball, and Shadow-clones.

They were all sitting around the Camp-fire, with Naruto and Sasuke going about their usual banter, and Kurenai looking at them blankly, trying to discern what was being said, based on the bits and pieces that were actually vocalized.

"But if we have to bet more than-"

"Than we can get-"

"You mean steal?"

Sasuke grunted, "Call it what you will. But this is important, so we won't be getting anything but the finest. And that shit is pricy."

"Right, so after that we-"

"And thats when-"

"If she finds out, I doubt she'll be happy to see us..." He shuddered, recalling their last encounter.

"Heh, maybe not you!"

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah, last time. She practically molested-"

"And threatened to kill me at the same time! It was so hot!" Naruto giggled.

Sasuke glared at him, "Never, do that. Ever."

"What, this?" He proceeded to giggle again, but less like an extremely annoying companion, and more like an overly-infatuated school girl, which still scared Sasuke to no end. Though he would rather die than show it.

"Thats it, I'm getting firewood." The Uchiha stood up and started walking away.

"We already have wood!"

"Than I'm taking a fucking stroll in the dark!"

Kurenai blinked, and looked at Naruto, "Is it always like this?"

"Hm? Like what?"

She shook her head, "Just, this. These conversations that don't reveal anything to anyone, but seem to amplify the obvious to you two..."

Naruto slowly nodded, kind of, sorta getting what she had said, "I, guess... But thats just dude-code... Don't you girls have like, a chick-code or something?" He paused, "I'm trying to crack it. I know it involves giggles, bleeghhs, humphs and smirks... Its just a matter of time..."

A few moments of awkward silence passed, being more awkward for Kurenai, as Naruto rubbed his hands together and chuckled mischeviously.

"Okay, so what are you _really_ doing on this trip?"

Naruto glanced at her, before reasoning that it was a mere attempt at conversation; although he still felt the need to tread with caution. "Eh, you know, grocery list stuff. Gambling, women, pubs, carpenters, trebuchets..."

She nodded, filing the odd information in her mind, "Right... All leading up to?"

He grinned, "Thats a surprise! But it'll be big! Promise!"

'_Thats comforting... NOT!_'

Kurenai coughed, "Couldn't you be more specific?"

"Sasuke'd kick my ass... Or try to, and fail miserably."

"Fine, keep your secrets." Kurenai 'huffed' and fell back on her sleeping bag, and it was at this time that Naruto looked at her at the wrong moment. You see, Kurenai had been left with so little time to pack, that she had forgotten her leather chest-strap, which kept her, _assets_ out of the way in battle.

Thus, Naruto found himself staring at her chest, which had bounced upon impact with the sleeping bag, and were now quite the sight.

Without _him_ noticing, Kurenai spotted the leer-like look he was giving in her direction, and recalled some of the final words of her mission briefing...

-_**Flashback**_-

_Kurenai turned to leave the room, when she had a disturbing thought._

_"Hokage-sama?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Why was I chosen for this mission?"_

_Tsunade sighed, rubbing her temples. 'Figures she'd bring that up... Although I was hoping to avoid it...'_

_"Well, for several reasons." She coughed, "First off, everyone else was gone. At least, anyone else who I'd trust with such a sensitive case."_

_Kurenai nodded, seeing the reason and truth behind that._

_"Secondly, I believe you have the necessary skills for the mission, I can't say that about everybody. And thirdly..."_

-_**End Flashback**_-

She groaned, and turned away from the blonde, breaking him from his stupor. '_It had __**better not **__come to that..._'

After crawling into her bag, she promptly drifted off.

Sasuke walked in on the scene, and sighed as he spotted the Jounin already asleep.

"She's spying on us."  
'**Yes... And you must punish her...**'  
Sasuke glared at his forehead, for giving him those images... Again, '_Life would be __**so**__ much easier if you would SHUT THE HELL UP!_'  
'**How then, would you ever get laid?**'  
'_I'd manage!_'  
'**And continue being straight, at the same time? I think not!**'

Naruto looked up, "Huh? What makes you think that?"

He suddenly remembered that Naruto was talking to him, and coughed, "Jiraiya's network of info has probably given Tsunade plenty of reason to suspect us for the-"

"You think Granny's onto us?"

He grunted, "Not too hard to believe, we havn't acted with the most subtlety-"

"For the record, that was your-"

"You were part of it."

"So what?"

Sasuke smirked, "Your name's in the Bingo book to."

"Pictures?"

"Of course not."

"Same entry?"

"Yup."

"Whats our-"

"A Rank."

Naruto yawned casually, "And?"

"Capture on-sight with Two hundred thousand ryo reward."

"Shit..."

"Right?"

He smiled, "Well, we only flooded half the Village, after all."

-**The next day**-

"Behold! The Great Naruto Bridge!" Naruto announced with no little amount of pride as he pointed at the huge bridge which would take them to Wave.

"The Great Naruto Bridge..." Kurenai exclaimed with hidden awe, behind her professional fascade. She had heard legends of it's sheer size, but never expected the reality.

"It's only a model..." Sasuke muttered, a smile playing on his lips.

Naruto whirled around and pointed a finger at him, "What the fuck did I say about quoting Monty Python?!"

He shrugged, "Someone had to say it."

It was silent for the greater part of the journey across the bridge, which took about an hour. And when they had almost arrived; Naruto stopped the vehicle. "Okay, we need to dump the ride now."

Kurenai pondered on why they might do that; for like, half a second, "To minimize attention?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, Wave isn't exactly full of unicorns and rainbows."

She sweat-dropped, "So why didn't we just walk?"

"I'm lazy, and I wanted the chance to test this bad-boy out."

"Pheh, only took us fifty years to-"

"It was more like a day and a-"

"Three hours is still not as long as a day and a half." Sasuke sniffed, "This thing moves at the speed of shit. Like your brain."

"You mean like _your_ brain!"

He scoffed, "Wow, Naruto... That was a great comeback." With evident sarcasm.

They sealed up all of their stuff, and Naruto was about to push the cart off the ledge.

Kurenai spoke up, "Can't you seal it?"

Naruto shrugged, "Nah, I can make another in like, ten minutes."

She would have quite the report upon her return...

They walked for a bit more, and before they knew it, they could see the town ahead.

Sasuke stopped them, "Wait." He took off his headband and sealed it, Naruto slapped his forehead.

"Right, nearly forgot." He followed Sasuke's example. Both of them looked at Kurenai expectantly.

"Not proud of your home-village here?" Kurenai frowned at them, putting her hands on her hips, as if she were preparing to scold a child... Or two.

"Noo..." Naruto started sweating, "Uhh... During this business transaction, it would be best if we were not identified as-"

"The headband makes shit harder, kay?" She complied grudgingly, ridding herself of the headband. They walked into the fishing village, and Naruto looked around, frowning.

"What?"

"Do you see a brothel?"

Sasuke glanced around, "Nope, wh-"

"I was hoping to get drunk _and_-"

"Dude, no. You've never been laid in your life.."

"I know! The experts can show me how its done!"

"They'll show you what they know about being on the recieving end, if thats what your after..." He chuckled as Naruto's face turned green.

"Anyway. We'll have to settle for a bar, is Chub-"

"Aren't you guys a little young for drinking?" Kurenai interrupted, with a voice that was laid with 'I'm not sure if I heard right, but if I did, you die'. Funny how people can have hidden meanings in what they say.

They looked at her like she was crazy, Naruto slapped his forehead weakly, still recovering from the mental images that Sasuke had been kind enough to bestow upon him.

"Of course we don't drink! Everyone knows that bars, taverns and inns are the best place to trawl for rumors!" The blond cried in a wounded tone, grasping his chest, "Haven't you ever played DnD?"

Kurenai just kind of stood there, not understanding. Naruto's eyes widened, not having seriously meant the question.

"Pathfinder?.."

She shook her head.

"Rifts!"

She rolled her eyes.

"WARHAMMER DAMNIT!"

He didn't even need an answer, he just grabbed her shoulders and shook her, shouting, "Good god woman! What happened to your childhood?!"

"Not that I mind the discussion..." Sasuke interrupted, "But the Rotten Cabbage is over there." He pointed to the shady looking joint on the corner.

Naruto and Kurenai stopped, looking over at the building. "The Rotten Cabbage?" She repeated dully.

"Yup! Leave it to Wave to come up with such an amazingly spectacular name!" Said Naruto, flashing a thumbs up on what he thought was the coolest name ever... Of all time.

Sasuke grimaced, "They name their pubs after rotten vegetables... I don't wanna try their ale..."

"Your just mad 'cause we haven't found the Prancing Pony yet!" The demon-container threw his hands in the air in annoyance.

"I'm telling you, somewhere in this world. It exhists..."

Naruto sighed in defeat, and walked inside, tailed by Kurenai; with Sasuke not far behind.

It was a nasty place, full of... Enemies.

No, not really, it was actually very tidy, but the manager _obviously_ didn't have the money to buy anything more than a dozen candles. Which made maneuvering to the counter especially difficult.

After managing to get through the crowd without being able to _see_ the crowd (An especially fun challenge), Naruto coughed and addressed the Bar-keeper.

"Hey Chub."

The burly sod of a man, with an apron and a beard's back stiffened, and whirled around with a knife in hand, pointing it at Naruto.

"The fuck do you want?"

Naruto smirked, "I need some flowers for my grand-uncle."

His eyes widened, and he slowly lowered the knife, "Does he still have that head-ache?"

"It's starting to subside, but we're buying aspirin anyway."

Kurenai turned to Sasuke and asked, "Some kind of code?"

"Hn, thats right. For security reasons... People keep trying to track us down. And he's a loose end. Albeit a useful one. So we needed a code."

'_So... Whatever they've been up to, its been enough to piss a couple of important guys off... Kages, more likely than not..._' Kurenai nodded to herself, not bothering to ask how it worked, as it probably woudn't do much good.

She looked at him, "Why aren't you with Naruto?"

"Chub doesn't like me. But the feeling is mutual, so we don't talk."

'Chub' wiped some sweat off his brow with a towel, "Damn, thought you was another imposter. Some blokes let it leak that I helped yeh in some of your ventures."

Naruto frowned, "Which ones?"

"Operations 'Yellow-hatter' and 'Thirst-quencher'... Those are dumbass names by the way."

He crossed his arms, "Humph! I thought of those in like, two seconds. You couldn't think of your own _name_ in two seconds!" He stuck his tongue out.

"If I was sober, I probably could! But Chub is easier to remember!" Chub defended indignantly.

"Yeah, so is Drunkard."

Chub sighed, "Nonetheless, I've been in deep shit as of late. So I can't help you with anything but info right now."

"Well, that'll have to do. I'm here to see a man about a Trebuchet."

His eyes narrowed, "Trebuchet, eh? Not a whole lot of carpenters even know what that is."

"And the ones that do?"

"Seven are dead, one is missing."

"Well... That complicates things. What about the missing one?"

Chub stroked his beard, "Sicharo? Sichiro Katara?.. Yeah, thats it!"

Naruto raised his eyebrows, "Holy shit, Yanira's dad?"

He nodded, "Thats the one, last time I heard from him, was about two weeks ago."

'_... Sasuke's gonna hate this... Or rejoice silently... Or both._'

"Any links?"

He pulled a mug out of the sink and started washing it, "Maybe. It's iffy though."

"Shoot."

"The Grand Radimaz Casino, high-class district, two blocks east of here. Hub for all business men, nobles, and the wealthier pirates."

"Let me guess..." Naruto grinned, "Pirates are what we're after?"

"Bingo. Look for Cap'n Mercotel, nothin' happens in these waters, that doesn't get by him. Squeeze him for info, and find Sichiro. He'll know what your talking about. Yanira won't be to far off, so ya know."

"Hm... Sounds easy enough. Thanks Chub." He tossed the Barkeeper a sack of coins, "Buy yourself some new shoes, and a razor."

Sasuke sighed, "You get his-"

"Its Katara-"

"The one from that time where-"

"One in the same."

"..."

"..."

"So where-"

"Grand Radimaz-"

Sasuke groaned, "Pirates, really?"

"Did you expect this to be easy?"

"With our luck? Never."

Kurenai blinked. From of all that, Sasuke looked like he understood exactly what was happening. And, for some reason, looked more pissed than ever. (More pissed than when he looks like he's going to soil himself... The Anime interprets that pretty well.)  
'_He doesn't look to be in a talkative mood... I'll ask Naruto later._'

-**Later**-

"Okay, Mercotel will only be here for one night, then he's shipping out with the rest of his crew in the morning. So we gotta get in there now."

"Can't we get him while he sleeps?" Kurenai offered, not sure what the problem was.

"We'll never get close to him. He has guards, traps and a loud mouth... We might have a chance at the gaming tables, but its slim." Naruto explained briefly, dragging them to a Taylor.

"Uhh... Why are we here?" Kurenai asked, with a hint of aggression in her voice, looking around at the various clothes.

Sasuke gave her the 'do I have to explain everything?' look, "We need to get you a pirate disguise."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Just me?"

He shrugged, "Naruto an' I already have em', believe it or not. This isn't the first time we've impersonated pirates..." Sasuke started staring off into space again, for some weird (most likely angsty) reason.

Naruto ran up to the counter, "Okay dude, we need a pirate outfit, and we need it fast!"

The Taylor looked at the blonde and raised his eyebrow, "Very well, what style would you prefer?"

Naruto stared at him blankly.

He coughed, "Of course, I should be talking to you," He turned to Sasuke, "Since your not wearing an Orange jumpsuit."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"To dumb it down, we need something piraty, but sexy. But not the sexy that says prostitute."

"What?! No! Absolutely not!" Kurenai cried in outrage, "I refuse to wear something like that!"

Naruto groaned in dissapointment, "C'mon, really? Your chances of blending in with the pirates will be easier if you just take it."

"I don't care. I came here as an escort, not eye candy." She gave them a murderous glare, "And if you think otherwise, we'll have problems..."

"But you _are_ acting as the eye-candy! Thats another reason why we didn't want Shikamaru!"

Sasuke didn't actually give a fuck, and promptly walked out of the store.

"Oi! Where you going?"

"I'm doing some scouting!"

Naruto shrugged, "Figures this'd hit him hard... Oh well!" He turned back to their Jounin escort, in time to recieve a punch to the face, and a black eye.

"OWw My GOD Kurenai-sensei! Just do it and everything'll be easier!"

Ignoring him, Kurenai turned to the taylor, "Something modest, and fashionable."

She glanced back to the blonde's pathetic pleading look and sighed, "Augh... But make it.." She stuck her tounge out, "Attractive..."

The Taylor nodded, "Of course. Come back in two hours."

Naruto pumped his fist in the air in victory, and Kurenai bopped him on the head, "I'm just doing this for the mission."

He nodded solemnly, "Of course."

'_Can't believe I got pulled into this..._' She sighed as she walked out of the store.

Naruto quickly turned back to the taylor and whispered, "By the way, when she says 'attractive'. She means slutty."

"Then why did she-"

"She likes to talk civilized, but what she meant is to make her look like a cosplaying hooker."

"Right, what if she _didn't_ happen to mean that?"

Naruto shrugged, "By the time she see's it, she won't have enough time to object anyway."

The taylor nodded and pushed his glasses up, a knowing smirk on his face.

...

Naruto caught up to Kurenai, who had simply gone to sit down, somewhere that didn't look completely disgusting. A curb having fit that description (sadly enough), she looked at Naruto, and gestured him to sit.

He complied, slowly, and cast a glance at her, suspecting a question or something.  
Which inevitably came...

"Whats the story with Sasuke and the pirate thing?" She said simply, giving him a curious look.

"Yanira... First time he had developed emotions with any girl, since his mom..." Naruto sighed, recalling the disaster that had been their mission, although it turned out well for everyone. Besides the crew. (*cough*... And the merchant.)

"Wanna talk about it?" Seeing nothing else to do at the moment, Naruto grunted. Much to her veiled excitement.

"It started about two years ago..."

-**With Sasuke**-

'_Yanira... Why'd she have to be apart of this?.._'

Sasuke grunted, kicking a can as he walked down the streets and alleys of Wave.

'_Never thought this trip would bring up those memories... Although, this being Wave, I should've seen something like that coming.. This place is full of emotional baggage._'

Finding a poorly constructed bench, the Uchiha sat down and tried to pull his thoughts together...

'_If only she had listened.. Bloody pirates..._'

-**End Chapter One-**

**Whoah! Can you believe I did it!?**

**So, what'd you think? Do you like it? Do you love it? Do you want some more of it?**

**Cool story bra!**

**This story is a challenge to myself as a writer. Stepping outside of my comfort zone to further my skill. Not that you actually care... In fact, you probably aren't even reading this right now. You probably exited the tab as soon as you finished it, or even somewhere in the middle, if it was truly that terrible..! **

**Or you just hit 'Next' since you love it so much. That is, if the next chapter has been uploaded by now...**

**But if you happen to be reading this particular part, by any chance. I'd like to thank you guys in advance for your support. Even if it isn't support, but rather, a mountain of flames. Which reminds me of a quote from '10 Things I Hate About You':  
'Ah! See, that! Who needs love when you have blind hatred?'**

**Its all feedback, and I appreciate your time spent reading the story, or whatever parts you browsed over. In any case, be sure to vocalize your thoughts and emotions strongly in a review that I will spend ten, maybe fifteen seconds reading.**

**If you happen to make a point, or make a reasonable suggestion, I'll try to address it in the Review Notes, at the beginning of the next chapter!**

**Send your friends and loved ones my regards. No matter how many weird looks you get, I still want you to do it, for my sake. But not in that way.**

**The aspiring to be awesome, and hopefully Mythicatalyst**


	2. Yanira Katara

**Title: The Dynamic Duo**

**Summary (full): Naruto and Sasuke are good friends, and have a mind for mischief... And metal... Kidding! These are the recounts of their many adventures across the Elemental Nations. Most of which ivolve international incidents which put the villages at each others throats... But its all fun and games! Until someone gets pissed at someone else and tries to scoop out their eyes... Not that we know anyone who would do that. **

**Greetings one and all! I have returned with more literature for you to soak your eyes in! That soundeed kind of weird... But still! **

**Try to endure as you read, what some people obviously think is a decent story! If this is the most wonderfully epic story you've ever read, tell other people about it so they can enjoy it as well! But, if this is the most disgraceful piece of shit you've ever set eyes on... Be sure to tell friends about it anyway! The more the merrier!**

**And now... About those reviews...**

**-Review Notes-**

**To Jenndude5: Your review was really funny, not in the 'your a dumbass' way, but more in the 'you have a mind for comedy' way. I'll have to check out your stories! **

**I know it looks like the OC is a big thing, especially in this chapter (fair warning), but the plot will revolve around a lot more than that. Not offering a whole lot of spoilers.**

**I will take your suggestions on shorter authors notes into consideration... Since that annoys readers... And who would want to do that? *whistles innocently***

**Aannnd, thats it! Read the chapter, unless you just came here for the A/N, and enjoy it! Or don't... Your choice!**

**-0-**

**Chapter Two: Yanira Katara**

**-0-**

-_**Flashback (Thats all this chapter is)**_-

_"Hey, dumbass." Sasuke adressed Naruto bluntly, as they were walking down the road next to like, eight wagons._

_Naruto pulled out his pipe and glared at him, "What the fuck do you want?"  
(He was going through a phase...)_

_"That stuff is gonna kill you."_

_"I'll kill you, if ya don't shut up."_

_Sasuke snorted, "As if you could-"_

_"Can, and will."_

_"Don't give me that bull-"_

_"I'll do more than-"_

_"Blah blah blah, thats all I hear."_

_"Maybe you should pull the wax out of your ass! Than you could stop screaming bloody murder, enough to understand me when I say-"_

_"SHUT UP!" The merchant screamed (I don't actually care what his name is), rage dripping off of his voice. The two Genin quickly shut their mouthes, and continued walking._

_"I did NOT hire you two for conversation! Just protect me, and don't die!"_

_"..."_

_Naruto glared at Sasuke, "Asswipe..."_

_"Druggie..."_

_"Godamnit!"_

_-__**Four hours later**__-_

_"Halt!" The Merchant grunted, awaking from his nap to find that hey had reached the Great Naruto Bridge._

_"Unload the cargo into one of the boats below the bridge, at the docks. I shall rent it, and we sail for the Crescent moon from here."_

_"Uhh, hello? Shitstain? Wouldn't it be cheaper to just go from Wave?" Naruto asked grumpily, taking a whiff of his tobacco._

_"Stupid boy, there have been reports of bandits, robbing merchants such as myself, midway to wave on that blasted bridge." Replied the merchant, sneering at him, " So we will opt for the safer, although more expensive route."_

_Though with no little amount of complaining, coming from a pipe-smoking blonde, the job got done and they cast off from the docks._

_-__**At Sea**__-_

_A wicked storm had moved in, and was causing quite the hassle for the crew, their main concern was securing crates and keeping the ship on course, as rain poured like a giant hose was right over them... _

_And also defending against a Pirate attack, no biggie. _

_In the midst of this, Naruto and Sasuke were sleeping in their hammocks, on the lower level._

_Sasuke, was rudely awakened, as an explosion ricketed the ship, and caused him to fall out of his hammock._

_"Wha?" Naruto said in a half-asleep tone, looking around with a clueless expression._

_This time, the cannonball tore through the lower deck and water started pouring in._

_"Shit! Naruto, get a hold of yourself! We're under attack!" Sasuke looked around for his gear, but the only thing in sight, was sailor apparel... _

_'Ah, hell.'_

_He pulled on the tan pants, the brown leather boots, the white sailor shirt with the red sash, and the brown vest. (I liked it when I pictured it...)_

_Naruto's eyes widened, and jumped out of bed._

_Sasuke's eyes widened, before he glared at him. _

_"What?"_

_"Your an ass."_

_The blond grinned and stuck his tongue out, "Not my fault you don't sleep with your clothes on."_

_"Whatever, lets go."_

_They ran up top to witness no attack at all, but a burning/sinking ship._

_A ship with no flag was sailing off, although it was still rather close. The middle mast wast nowhere to be seen, the cargo was nowhere to be found, and they were sinking. Not to mention there were corpses everywhere._

_"How the hell, DID WE MISS AN ENTIRE PIRATE ATTACK?!" Naruto cried in dissapointment, as the ship sunk further, and further in. _

_He pointed at Sasuke accusingly, "Its Because you sleep like a log!"_

_"You fight like a log!"_

_"You insult like a log!_

_"Logs don't insult!"_

_"They don't fight either! But I'm sure that if they did, they could beat your ass to!"_

_Sasuke didn't know why, but for the few seconds he pondered that last remark. He felt as if, in some alternate universe, that could be true... (Nope, no reference here!)_

_Naruto looked around, panicking, "Okay, we've got a couple of problems!"_

_"Like wha-"_

_"I lost my only-"_

_"Told you, that shit kills-"_

_"Fuck you!"_

_"No thanks. Whats the other problem?"_

_"We're not in a lifeboat!" fear flooded into his face, "We will drown in the middle of nowhere! Never to be remembered by society! Doomed to a watery grave!"_

_Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Dude, we can walk on water."_

_"Your no fun." Naruto pouted, crossing his arms._

_They jumped off of the ship, right as it was completely submerged, landed safely on the water, and spotted the offending ship._

_Naruto sighed thoughtfully, "Huh... What should we do? Our client just got kidnapped..." _

_"You mean 'Fat, lazy, useless fucker-napped'?"_

_"Yeah, we goin' after them?"_

_Sasuke shrugged, "Probably should, our objective still applies... As long as he's still alive, that is..."_

_Naruto grinned, "Only one way to find out?"_

_"I hope you mean run up and ask them politely..."_

_"Thats right!"_

_"... Really?"_

_"Of course!" Naruto paused, "If by, 'politely', you meant run in their, beat everyone's ass into the ground, and rescue whoever the hell is in there..."_

_The raven haired avenger cracked his knuckles, smirking darkly, "Wouldn't have it any other way."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"... Your not going to fight, are you?"_

_"Of, course not!"_

_"Remind me... Whats the plan?" Naruto whispered urgently, as he clung to the side of the ship._

_"You surprise them with those weird clones, I'll slip on down to the brigg, free the good guys... And the merchant, if he's there. And then we take over the ship and keep going!"_

_"That sounded a lot more simple ten minutes ago!"_

_"Why? How many are-"_

_"Thirty-fucking-eight!"_

_Sasuke did some math in his head, "Wow, thats the best odds we've had all day!"_

_"How do you figure?"_

_"Last time, we were up against cannons and a sinking ship!"_

_"Good point..."_

_There was a silence, as they waited for the patrol to pass..._

_"Okay," Naruto said, "On three. Ready? One... Two-"_

_"Wait! On three? Or three and then we go?"_

_"ON three, it's always faster to go on three.."_

_Sasuke nodded._

_"One... Two.."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"You gonna say it?"_

_"I'm pausing for dramatic effect!"_

_"Oh woud you just-"_

_"THREE!"_

_With a roar, Naruto summoned a good fifty shadow clones, and sent them crowding into the vessel, not giving anyone any room for swordplay._

_With the distraction, Sasuke snuck down the stairs and made his way to the Brigg, where two guards were stationed._

_The Uchiha hid behind a wall when a cry of 'Attack!' from upstairs was heard, and someone started ringing a bell. The guards looked up and sprinted upstairs, not seeing Sasuke due to his position._

_Once he was sure that they were gone, Sasuke slowly entered the room. He grabbed the keys from a peg on the wall, and started looking for his crew, and that fat merchant guy._

_"Ples' sirie! I can 'elp you!" Cried a bandaged, beaten and broken old guy from behind a cage._

_"Err... Sorry, I don't speak Yiddish. Or whatever you are..." He replied to the poor guy, with a bit of regret, still searching for some crew-mates who may have survived._

_"Jus' lemme out o' 'ere!" Sasuke looked around, starting to get a bad feeling._

_He turned to the man that had just spoken, "You! Where are the new prisoners?"_

_The eye-patched pirate looked at him all confused-like, "Eh? Ain't sure, not 'ad 'un sinca' we'k go'..."_

_Sasuke groaned, "I didn't understand a single fucking word you just said..."_

_"What 'e means. Is that yer friends 'ain't nothin' bu' fish-food now mate."_

_He turned to glance at the owner of that voice. Although it turned out to be a lot longer than a glance, as she was quite the sight._

_Yes, it was a she, Sasuke is not gay. Despite what many other fanfiction, and even cannon, have led you to believe._

_Her (As Sasuke interpreted to himself, as he is thorough, *wink*)_

_She had curly, dirty blonde, shoulder length hair pushed behind her ears; big brown eyes, and a thin nose that ended with a slight tip. She looked to be about 5' 9", skinny body, but with some of the rough muscle that accompanied pirates, as well as the slightly unwashed skin, which was a pale peach color... Kind of flatchested (not that anyone cares... But if you must know... Thats too fuckin' bad). _

_She wore a white, lace up shirt with half the long sleeves cut off (a favorite among pirates), and a dark red vest to keep it company. Tan trousers, brown cuffed leather boots, a brown triangle hat with a blue bandana under it, and some black leather gloves._

_It took Sasuke a moment to get a hold of himself... Enough to reply at least._

_"Uhh... What do you mean?"_

_She shook her head, "We didn't se' no newbie's come thru' here. But' we did 'ere some screamin' and a' splashin'."_

_Sasuke groaned, "How many people do you think-"_

_"'Un or Two. Rest got 'nocked off down at yer ship I reckon."_

_'Well... We did see quite a few corpses... And most of them weren't pirates..'_

_He paused, trying to decide on what to do next, when she spoke up again._

_"Uh, hey! Mate, ye' be needin' some 'elp with those guys?"_

_He grunted, coming out of his inner battle, "Hell if I know."_

_"Well, it might be 'andy if ye' were to. Eh, I don' know, free us? Sinc' yer crew is dead an' all."_

_"Fine..." Sasuke slowly went throught the keys, before pulling the right one out and opening the locks, freeing the prisoners... Well, the ones that were still alive, that is._

_He turned to the only one he could actually understand, that he had met so far, and who was, simultaniously, the most interesting. "Hey, I don't think I caught your name."_

_She shrugged, "Don' recall givin' it mister. So we be square." She strapped her cutlass to her hip._

_"... Can you tell me?"_

_"Tell ye' what?"_

_"Your name."_

_"What fer?" She looked at him incredilously._

_Sasuke grunted, "So I can call you something besides 'girl' or 'you in the vest', I guess?" (Although, you and I can be pretty sure he wanted it for more reasons than that, *waggles eyebrows suggestively*)_

_She grinned, "I see'ya reason ther'." She thrust her hand out, "Names Yanira Katara!"  
(Before you hurt yourself trying to figure out how to say it: Yawn-E-ra, Kuh-tar-uh!)_

_Sasuke slowly took her hand and shook it, "Sasuke Uchiha."_

_Yanira pointed at his headband, "Ye' some kinda' Ninja?"_

_"Uhh, yeah." He sweat-dropped, realizing that he still had it on, "I am."_

_"Well thas' dandy! Ye' got sum' others wit' yeh?"_

_"Yup, Naruto's upstairs, finishing off the crew."_

_She stared at him for a second, and started laughing. Much to his slight annoyance, in the form of a tick-mark._

_"Heheheh! That's somethin' ye' don't hear evry' day! Two Ninjas, takin' over a whole ship, all by their lonesomes!"_

_Sasuke nodded, and ran up to top deck, followed by Yanira and all those other people, whose names escape me. (*Whistles innocently*)_

_The storm had subsided, leaving just a bunch of dark clouds above them._

_Naruto tied up the last crew-mate, and tossed him into the pile of the lousy bastards._

_He squinted his eyes at the group Sasuke had freed, scratching his head._

_"Hmm... I dunno Sasuke. They don't look like the people we were-"_

_"Thats cause they're all..." Sasuke made a swiping motion with his hand over his neck repeatedly._

_"Wow, then why-"_

_Sasuke coughed, looking away, in the opposite direction of one of the free'd captives... The female one, if you haven't caught on to that bit yet. (Which I hope you have, by this point)_

_Not understanding anything at all, Naruto shrugged. "Oh well! Least we got a new ship and people to man it."_

_"Okay, but what now?"_

_The blonde stroked his chin, "Huh... I guess we should complete the shipment? Finish our journey to the Crescent moon? We have a crew, after all!"_

_"Well, suppose that could work-"_

_"Hol' on a minute!" Yanira stepped in, glaring at them, "Jus' cause ye' free'd us, it don't bind us to yer service. We need a bit o' coin."_

_Naruto blinked, "... What?"_

_Sasuke sighed, rubbing his temples, "They want money, Idiot. We have to pay them."_

_-__**Captains Quarters**__-_

_Naruto was rummaging through the scrolls and parchments, going through cubbards and boxes with an increasing annoyance._

_Sasuke stood nearby, observing his activities with a raised eyebrow. (Since he's cool like that)._

_"Naruto, what are you doing?"_

_He whirled around, holding a tied up scroll in his hand, "Found it!"_

_The Uchiha raised his eyebrow, "Found what?"_

_"A treasure-"_

_"C'mon! THATS your-"_

_"Got a better idea? This ship isn't even enough to pay them!"_

_Sasuke sighed, seeing that he had a point._

_"Okay, so how are we going to go about this?" Naruto asked, not having anything more to contribute. (Go figure)_

_"I guess we promise them the treasure..." Sasuke coughed, "Most of it..."_

_"Of course. Or we won't get jack shit out of this mission."_

_He nodded at Naruto, "Exactly. So, we go, deliver the shipment to The Crescent Moon, find some treasure, split it with them, sail home, then leave them with the ship, and make our way to Konoha."_

_"Sounds legit. See if they like it!"_

_"Heh, soun's like a good 'nough offer. Les' do it!"_

_Naruto and Sasuke sighed in relief as the crew cheered and such._

_"Alright then! Lets go!"_

_Yanira stopped, and stared at them, "Ye' kno' how ta comman' a crew?"_

_Naruto coughed, "Not exactly..."_

_"At all..."_

_She grinned a toothy grin. Causing Sasuke to stare at her teeth for a moment..._

_'Are they just really shiny... Or does she have a golden tooth?'_

_Indeed she did, not an unusual accessory for a Pirate, but still. One below her right canine._

_"Well then, I would sugges' that ye' let me in charge for the time bein'."_

_Sasuke shuddered and glanced at Naruto, who shrugged. "Sure, I guess." He slowly answered, not too sure about thrusting command of a bloodthirsty gang of criminals into another one's arms..._

_'Oh well.'_

_-__**Later that night**__-_

_The clouds had drifted off, leaving them with a bright moon shining on them, the air was filled with roars of laughter and some music being played, fiddle music, guitar, and accordian._

_Naruto was having some rather, un-satisfactory luck with poker. And Sasuke had grown tired of it._

_The blond turned to him, "Sasuke! Can you lend me some money?"_

_"Why should I-"_

_"Because you owe me fro-"_

_"Paid that one off." He grunted._

_Naruto pouted and looked at him with puppy dog eyes, whimpering._

_"Oh, god... Fine!" He tossed Naruto a sack of ryo, "Just never do that again, it makes me wanna puke!"_

_Naruto beamed and gave him a thumbs up, "Won't let you down!"_

_Sasuke sighed and looked up, and noticed Yanira at the helm, keeping the ship on course._

_Gathering up his courage, he walked up the steps to confront her._

_"Ye' need somethin' Saskae?" Yanira said nonchalantly, keeping a firm hand on the wheel._

_He sweat-dropped, "Its Sasuke."_

_She gave him a bemused look, "Thas' wa't I said."_

_Shaking his head 'Saskae' tried to make conversation._

_"Soo... How long have you been.. You know, a Pirate?"_

_Yanira glanced at him, "Why ya' wanna' know?"_

_Sasuke shrugged, and looked around, "Doesn't seem like you have much else to do."_

_"Sti'll don't make it yer' business..." She grumbled._

_There was a small silence, and Sasuke was afraid he had blown it somehow._

_She sighed eventually, "Few 'ears. Pops got sick, couldn't go'ta work." _

_"Whats he do?"_

_"Well, e's a' carpentr'. Makin' stuff outta' wood."_

_He nodded, "Why piracy?"_

_She shrugged, "Had'ta get money fer' medicines an' such. An' I didn't kno' enough to work at any 'o 'em fancy stores."_

_"So, you kept at it? Even after he got better?"_

_Yanira nodded._

_"Why?"_

_She paused, then glared at the Shinobi, "Yer askin' a lot o' 'hows' an' 'whys'. How 'bout tellin' me ye'r story?"_

_Sasuke sighed, and gazed off into the distance. "Mine isn't a happy one."_

_Yanira shook her head, "Ain't a whole lot 're."_

_(Of course, Sasuke then graces her ears with his angst-filled story. Consider this an intermission!)_

_"Fuck! You cheating bastard!" Naruto cried with rage, slamming his head on the table._

_"Ain't no cheatin' 'ere laddie! Jus' a bunch 'o bad luck!" _

_'Augh... I only have enough for a few more hands...'_

_The Pirate seemed to read his mind, and gave a predator-like smirk, "Ye' can try again! Win al' o' it back!"_

_Naruto's ears pirked up, "All of it?"_

_"Cross 'y hart!" He proceeded to do just that, causing more laughter to be heard, much to Naruto's aggrivation._

_"YOUR ON!" Naruto put some more money down._

_The pirate threw the cards around the table, and Naruto quickly whipped his up, staring at them intently._

_'Hell yes! Just need another four!'_

_The blond requested two cards, having three fours already._

_He got them back, and now he had two fours..._

_"WHAT?!"_

_Apparently, in his excitement, Naruto had discarded one of the fours, and had gotten a two, a jack, and a king in return._

_'I. Have. Nothing?...'_

_"And thats my story."_

_Yanira whistled softly, a smirk on her lips, "Damn, Thas' 'un crazy background ya' got there."_

_Sasuke nodded._

_"Yer bro' sounds kinda' evil. If ya' don't min' me sayin'."_

_"He is kind of evil. And that is why, one day. I'll have to find him, and kill him... Because I... Am..." He paused dramatically, glaring at the sky._

_"An avenger..."_

_"Heheh.. Tha'was a wee' bit cheesy. Come up with that all by 'ye-self?"_

_Sasuke sweat-dropped, nodding indignantly. _

_"It shows!"_

_"Oh shut up..."_

_-__**Two more days of starting-conversations-with-Pirates-and-losing-to- poker later**__-_

_Sasuke pulled himself up out of his hammock, sniffing the air groggily. Not the best choice he had made so far... And it was only morning._

_'Oh god... Why?..' _

_It reeked of beer, seaweed, more beer, and blood. (Lots of blood... Mwahaha!)_

_He pulled on his boots, when he realized something... His clothes were probably under the sea somewhere._

_'Eh... Whatever, this stuff isn't so bad.'_

_He climbed to top-deck and looked around, and was happy to see, that there wasn't a cloud in the sky. One problem, though. There was something missing in the air, something very crucial in moving a ship._

_Sasuke licked his finger and thrust it in the air. "No wind."_

_"Course ther's no bloody wind!"_

_He whirled around to find Yanira, still at the helm, with an agitated face._

_"Is that why we seem to be, without any productive motion?"_

_She nodded, "We ain't goin' nowhere 'till som'thin happens!"_

_Sasuke scratched his head sheepishly, "I could wake Naruto. He can move the ship."_

_"Eh? How 'ya figure?"_

_He smirked, "This thing have oars?"_

_Yanira made an 'oohhhh' face and grinned, "Matter'o fact, it does!"_

_It was an odd occurance, but Sasuke felt strangely embaressed when she looked at him. The way she looked at him, was unlike how his seemingly endless horde of fangirls looked at him, as theirs was a hungry, lustful, savage stare that sent shivers down his spine, and made him want to hide in a tree._

_He felt an unusual kind of security when her eyes fell on him. It was bright and cheery, and he was sorely tempted to try and look back, to stare into her eyes... No matter how undeniably corny that sounds... The flutterings of love, moved in unpredictable patterns, in the mind of Sasuke._

_"Move yer arms, ye' damn sea-dogs!"_

_Yanira, as it turned out, made quite the drillmaster. And even Naruto's fearless shadow clones weren't all that excited about manning the oars for awhile. You learn something new every day!_

_"Row!" This was the chant they repeated every few seconds._

_"Row!" _

_"Row!"_

_"ROW!"_

_"Shut UP!"_

_"You shut up!"_

_"I'll kick your ass!"_

_"I'll kick YOUR ASS!"_

_"I'll take your pipe!"_

_"Don't got one! Dumbass!"_

_"I'm you, dumbass!"_

_They don't get along very well._

_Naruto was panting, having to summon a few dozen clones before eating took quite a bit out of him._

_"*pant* I can't, *pant*, Stay... *pant, awake!"_

_"Don't be a baby..." Sasuke pulled out a bowl of ramen and handed it to Naruto, "Here."_

_His eyes widened, "How did you-"_

_"I salvaged your-"_

_"And you didn't-"_

_"Slipped my mind."_

_Naruto slurped some up the noodles up, and glared at Sasuke, "Athhole..."_

_"Your welcome."_

_"Tha'll get the job dun!" Yanira smiled and crossed her arms, surveying her work._

_She looked at the Uchiha and smiled brightly, "Goo'job Saskae! I reckon we'll be ther' by noon!"_

_Sasuke nodded, and kind of, sort of blushed... Like, the most unnoticeable blush ever, because you'd never expect it of an Uchiha. However, Naruto had been glaring at him, and since he knew Sasuke better than anyone, the blonde could immediately recognize something like that, even if it had never, ever, happened before._

_It took a moment to sink in, as he went back and forth, looking between Sasuke and Yanira with a quizical expression. Then he grinned, in a 'from ear to ear' way._

_'Sasuke... Totally has the hots for Yanira! Holy shit!'_

_A few moments of relative silence went by between the three. Yanira was keeping an eye on the workforce, yelling at a clone every now and then, her inner thoughts unknown, for the sake of the story. Sasuke was thinking of conversation topics to bring up with a pirate... And Naruto was just standing there, inwardly giggling with glee as he realized how much black-mail material now lay before him._

_..._

_"LAND, HO!" Came the cry from the crows nest._

_Naruto looked up, frowning, "What'd he just say?"_

_Sasuke shrugged, the shout bringing him back to reality, "No clue. It sounded like he was telling a Ho to stop flying.. But you can't be sure..."_

_"Darn Ho's... Can't stay grounded."_

_He sighed, "I know right?"_

_Yanira ran up top and to the helm, followed by Naruto and Sasuke. Getting a telascope out, and pulling it to it's full length, she closed one eye and stared through it._

_"E' be right! Ge'loaded up boys!"_

_Naruto put on a reflective expression, "I don't think your theory makes any sense now Sasuke..."_

_"Did it ever?"_

_They had unloaded the cargo into the warehouse with little suspiscion, which is weird considering the majority of them looked like evil, twisted criminals. They had then given everyone the rest of the day off, and they would cast off at dawn. For those who wanted to get filthy rich, that is. Anyone else was free to go and live their lives. Without a penny to their name of course, but it was the thought that counted._

_Naruto and Sasuke stood side by side in the middle of the street, looking at eachother awkwardly._

_"Why are you standing next to me?.." Sasuke inquired dully._

_"No idea..."_

_"Hn."_

_A tumble-weed blew across the street._

_Naruto felt shivers run down his back, "I think I'm gonna go..."_

_"Good plan."_

_The blonde ran off, looking for some form of entertainment._

_Sasuke sighed, 'Now I need to find something...'_

_He strolled down the brick street, hands in pockets, glancing into the windows of stores, and just thinking. While at the same time trying to convince himself that he wasn't attracting fangirls here, as a pirate... But the latter was not working very well._

_'Now... What might be good?..'_

_The avenger stopped, and stared into an arms store's display window._

_His eyes were drawn to a decent sized pistol, with gold trimmings surrounding the wood and steel plate casings._

_'Thats nice... Maybe I should...'_

_He froze, realization spreading across his face... 'What am I doing... I'm trying to find a gift for..' he slapped his forehead. 'What would Naruto say to that?'_

_He sweat-dropped, 'Probably something like, Sasuke an' Yanira, sittin' in a tree...'_

_Sighing with self-pity, Sasuke stared off into the sky, 'What would Itachi say?... "Foolish little brother... Falling for a pirate? How low the Uchiha clan has fallen in my absense... Whats left of it, at least." He would say with that knowing, cruel smirk.'_

_A moment of angsty silence passed... (Much to my horror)_

_Sasuke squeezed his fists together, 'Fuck, that... If Itachi doesn't like it, he can suck the Tsuchikage's dick. That way he's far away from me, and he gets scarred for life to.'_

_Nodding in satisfaction, He walked into the store, and asked about the item on display in the window._

_The store-keeper, a small, bald man with a mustache, stroked his chin. "Ahh, yes! That be one of our newer pieces! Its a pretty thing, and gets the job done."_

_"How much?"_

_"Fifteen hundred."_

_Sasuke felt a stinging emptiness in his pockets as this was said._

_"Uhh... Anyway I could convince you to lower it?"_

_The clerk gave him an amused look, "Maybe, who's it for?"_

_He gulped nervously, "... A girl..." It was the first time those words had been used for such a purpose for Sasuke, and even though he thought it would taste like dirt... It didn't, it tasted like alcohal. And they would be like alcohal, addicting. 'Damn, thats morbid...'_

_"Oohhh... A pirate no doubt.."_

_Sasuke glared at him, "Don't look so surprised! Ninjas don't use them because they can be rigged, plus they aren't very quiet... And Samurai think of them as dishonerable! Monks just have slapping contests, so theres no competition there."_

_He gave the man a bored look, signalling that he was getting off track._

_"So I must admit... That is heart-warming..."_

_"Don't mock me."_

_The clerk raised his hands in defence, "I meant no offence! I do offer a word of warning though..." He leaned in, as did Sasuke._

_"I used to be an adventurer like you... Then I took an arrow to the knee..."_

_"Wha?"_

_The clerk shook his head, "Thats all I'm saying. Its up to you to decide what it means. But you can have the gun!"_

_Sasuke's eyes nearly bulged out, completely forgetting the warning... He had not felt people's generosity, outside of Konoha villagers blindly burying him with gifts and hefty discounts, in hopes of gaining favor with the future clan-head... Which was rediculous, considering that all the stuff they threw at him didn't have much use in his house... How was he supposed to utilize dresses? He wasn't a cross-dresser, suffice to say._

_Realizing that the man had actually made that offer, and not normally one to stare a gift-horse in the mouth (what a peculiar metaphor), Sasuke quickly agreed, grabbed the pistol, and ran out of the store._

_The clerk put his hand to his mouth and shouted, "You wan't that gift-wrapped? Got some nice heart patterns here!"_

_"Oh, shup up!"_

_The man smiled, and walked back into the store chuckling, "Young folk..."_

_Hours had passed, and the moon was beginning to rise. Sasuke found himself in a bar, occasionally taking sips of mead. He was having a war inside his mind... About one thing, and I'm pretty sure you know what that one thing is._

_'Am I becoming as infatuated as those filthy fangirls back home?.. What seperates me from them besides gender? AND sexual preferences?..' (You'd be surprised how often people mix em up in certain fanfics... On purpose, that is.)_

_He shook his head when he thought being 'an Uchiha' made all the difference. 'That means nothing in the short-run. Right now, I'm the pathetically spared member of a slaughtered clan.. Whose brother is an S-rank criminal in a boy-band of baddies, bent on taking over the world.'_

_Not exactly the best banana in the bushel... (I don't care if they aren't bushels, it just sounded so catchy when I said it out loud!)_

_'Well, guess it'll be worth the try.. Hopefully.' The onyx haired Uchiha downed what was left of his drink and lumbered outside, where he would ultimately end up back at the ship to start searching for some blasted treasure. Thanks to that moronic blond that he just so happened to be associated with._

_Speak of the devil..._

_"Hey! Sasuke! There you are!" He turned his head to see Naruto jogging up to him with a silly grin, as per the norm._

_"You been lookin' for me dobe?"_

_"Yeah, I just wanted to say, I know about your-"_

_"What?.. How did you-"_

_"You don't blush, ever."_

_Sasuke sniffed arrogantly and looked up, hoping to avoid eye-contact._

_"So? What of it?"_

_"I don't know. I just felt like telling you about it, so you don't start getting nervous and maybe start suspecting that she knows!" The blonde troublemaker smiled cluelessly._

_Sasuke glared at him, "I never thought of that... UNTIL NOW!" _

_"Ohh... My bad!" He rubbed his head timidly, although he clearly meant to do that... (He just doesn't know it... Mwahaha...)_

_"Dumbass..."_

_Naruto was silent, before slapping his forehead, "Damn! I just remembered! I told the crew we'd have a treasure-hunting mission briefing thing on deck in like, ten minutes."_

_"Okay, so we can just-"_

_"Half an hour ago!"_

_..._

_"Fuck. You."_

_-__**Back at the ship, in the Captains Quarters**__-_

_The crew half-glared, half-smirked at them when they goth ther a few minutes later._

_Yanira laughed, glancing at the clock, "Nice timin' fella's!"_

_Sasuke sighed, subtly hiding the pistol behind his back._

_Naruto smiled knowlingly at him, sending him a wink. He glared at the blond, mouthing 'keep your damn mouth shut'._

_"So, we go'get this thing rollin'?" Yanira inquired skeptically, glancing back and forth._

_The blond coughed, and pulled a parchment out of his sachel. How it fit in there, remains a mystery. "This map, will lead us to the secret hoard of Admiral Kuzio Fahita!"_

_Crickets could be heard chirping, even though they weren't in a field, and were on a boat, where there was a supreme lack of crickets. And they were inside._

_Blank faces looked back at him, Naruto sighed, "He was a filthy rich bastard who practically cleared out Kirigakures entire treasury when he betrayed. Leaving them bankrupt. He also raided some towns and stuff."_

_"Ye'ahHH!" _

_"Woo-hoo!"_

_"Rock'n'ro!" Everyone stared at the last guy in confusion, wondering who the hell had let him aboard, or who hadn't kicked him off when they had the chance._

_"Anyways..." Naruto peered at the man oddly, opening the map, "Says here that we need to climb the cliffs of insanity... Destroy the one ring, which will bring balance to the-" Sasuke smacked him over the head, "Idiot, thats your DnD campaign!"_

_"Ohh... Knew that looked familiar!" He replied in a strictly mellow tone, putting that map __**back**__, and pulling out another, "Ah! Here it is!"_

_"Wha's it say?" Yanira asked eagerly, stepping closer to him in hopes to get a better look._

_"Pshaw! This is lame! We just need to sail to some immortal rock rings, and find some dumb passage. Wherein we will need to look for the Ex... The fuck? He left this map behind so we could go find his Ex-girlfriend?" Naruto cried angrily, tempted to rip the map to smal pieces, which he would then use as toilet paper._

_Sasuke did a facepalm, "No, Naruto... No. We need to find the X __**letter**__ on the __**ground**__!"_

_"Ohhhh... Okay! It also says we need to look out for deadly traps and-blah-blah-blah-you will never leave here alive-yadda-yadda-yadda!" Naruto grinned, "Easy enough!"_

_"..."_

_"Soun's good'te me!"_

_"YEEEAAAHHHH!" Naruto shouted, pulling out sunglasses. _

_At the same time, he shoved his fist into the sky, yelling, "We should forget tomorrow! And start sailing tonight!" He turned to the crew, "What say you?! YAY OR NAY?!"_

_They were about to respond, when baffled looks spread among them, then one of them plainly asked, "Which one means yes?"_

_Naruto sighed, "Yay..."_

_"YAAAAYYYY!"_

_The crew quickly disperssed after that display of knowledge, leadership, and skill in applying various references to the situation. Leaving Yanira, Naruto and Sasuke in the room._

_'Idiot... Would you like, go, somewhere else?..'_

_As if having read his mind, Naruto flashed a thumbs up at Sasuke and quickly said, "Gotta go check on the troops... And the supplies... And stuff!" He then dissapeared._

_Sasuke shuffled his feet awkwardly, not knowing what the hell to say. Yanira looked around, being the more confused of the two. But not being rude, she broke the unusual silence they had been left in._

_"So, Saskae, 'ave ye' seen an-"_

_"I got this for you!..." The __**VERY**__ nervous angst-lord, brought the pistol out from behind his back, and thrust it into her reach._

_Yanira blinked, staring at it for a few seconds, or what __**felt**__ like a few hours, or a few years!.. This was like judgement day, his life was flashing before his eyes... _

_As you may imagine, it isn't easy for an emo-avenger to admit his feelings for anyone, to anyone, especially to that someone whom he has feelings for._

_"We'l ain't that sweet'a ye'!" She exclaimed affectionately, wrapping her free arm around his neck, holding the pistol with her other hand. Sasuke felt very warm, in her embrace, but not in that way. (At least, thats what he said)_

_"Uh, your welc-"_

_"Bu'we'll be goin' after that treasure anyway! So idn't this... Kin'ness?" Inwardly panicking, Sasuke nodded, as he wasn't sure of what else to do. He could only hope she'd catch on by herself. _

_"Wo'ho! If I didn't know bett'r, I'd think ye' we're takin' a likin' to me!"_

_No such luck..._

_"Well... Er... You see, Yanira-chan..." He caught himself with shock. Never had he been known to use the 'chan' suffix... Not even with his own Mother! Well, thats an exaggeration; he did, a few times... At least. But still! It sounded weird (in his opinion) coming from his mouth, and aimed in that particular direction. _

_'No turning back now...' Sasuke closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, "I-"_

_..._

_'What is this?..' He thought, as the sounds of the outside world were cut off, and suddenly, all that mattered was then and there..._

_It was like a golden Pheonix had sailed over his face, silencing him by sending the mother of all flames coursing past his lips, and flushing down his throat, leaving him, as nothing more than a pile of angsty jello... And he would take that any day... If only the miraculous feelings that occupied him now, would remain..._

_So, he opened his eyes (Considered rude during a kiss, which I don't get), and they widened, when he realized how close Yanira's face was... It felt like... His eyes drifted down._

_'Oh...'_

_He probably should have suspected it when that remarkable feeling had washed over him, but at that point, he had been so determined to finish confessing his true emotions, that he was not prepared for anything._

_So, this is what a kiss felt like... (Having completely buried all memories of his kiss with Naruto)_

_And then she slowly pulled back, opening her brown eyes with a deep blush sporting her normally fearless face. Sasuke suspected that he had one to, based on the ever-present burning sensation in his cheeks._

_(Annnd thats my best shot, describing a first kiss romance scene, without having actually experienced one. WHAT SAY YOU?! Actually I don't care; cause I liked it, I'm done with it, and thats all that matters.)_

_-__**The next day**__-_

_They had left late the previous night, and were making good progress. Thus, it looked like they would make it to the Immortal rock rings by nightfall, which was a little disconcerting for the crew. As it was said to be haunted._

_In other news, grass is green._

_Sasuke hadn't spoken to Yanira, since their little 'private encounter' the other night... And she had been silent around him as well, occasionally blushing and biting her lip, which in turn made Sasuke blush and look away. (Ahh... Young love, no?)_

_Naruto, of course, had his suspicions, which he took directly to the brooder himself. With no subtlety whatsoever._

_"Did you make out? Did you confess your undying love for her?! Man, Sakura's gonna be so pissed-"_

_"We... Exchanged brief physical activity, which involved our mouthes being in contact... And as for my feelings," Sasuke shrugged, "That must've gone without saying..." The blond nodded eagerly._

_"Sooo..." Naruto began, frowning, "What happened?"_

_"She knew I had the hots for her, and we macked lips, kay? It was awesome." He replied flatly._

_The blond grinned, "Cool!"_

_Sasuke shrugged, "It was okay..."_

_..._

_And besides countless conversations popping up between the two; it __**was**__ silent for the greater part of the journey, despite how badly I wanted to insert three (or) more references in here..._

_-__**Immortal Rock Ring**__-_

_"A'h! Ther' it be!" Yanira exclaimed, grinning in satisfaction as their destination came into view, from out of the mist that shrouded most of the area._

_The Immortal Rock Ring, a place of legend, where naval battles had been fought, since the beginning of time... Kind of. It was more like, this was a valuable strategic mid-point on the sea, and they would probably keep their stay brief.  
It was a cove, I guess would be the proper term. Like a giant tube of rock had risen from the sea, with a gap torn into the bottom, allowing entrance into the middle. The inside of that 'tube' was completely hollow, and pitch black. Which mitght've made it a prime hiding place for... Oh, say a massive store of loot?_

_"Sweet! Lets go raid that hoard!" Yelled Naruto, voice full of enthusiasm, who's attitude was quickly reflected across the rest of the crew. Save Sasuke, as he was __**never**__ full of enthusiasm... __**EVER**__._

_They dropped the ancor near the shore-line (It was a small boat), and stepped onto the rocky surface. Obviously having extra #1 go first, to look for schnaps._

_"S'all good!" He called back, which prompted them to follow his example._

_Yanira looked around, frowning. The place was pretty big, and it wasn't hard to imagine getting lost in it.. She was about to call for ideas, when one struck her before she could get it out._

_"Pr'tty big place 'ere! We oughta' split up 'ta pairs, cov'r more groun' that way!" She resisted the urge to blush when Sasuke, the victim of her first kiss (if you must know), looked at her with a raised eyebrow. As maintaining a professional fascade was crucial at this point, if her idea were to come to fruition... And not in that way._

_"I call Sa-" Sasuke quickly slapped his hand over Naruto's mouth, glaring daggers at him. _

_Luckily, the blond seemed to catch on, and finished, "-I mean, I call Anisu!" The aforementioned Pirate (the only one to have a name) shrugged, not caring. But he didn't say anything, which might be because I'm to lazy to think of something for him to say..._

_..._

_"Wa' pair?"_

_"Don'say 'dat shit ta me!"_

_"Fuck a'yo!"_

_Pirates aren't always buddy-buddy either..._

_The others quickly paired off just as quickly, and set out in different directions in search of the riches that had been hidden there..._

_Leaving Sasuke and Yanira (coincidence?) standing by the boat; Sasuke was looking down, trying to avoid eye-contact (again). Yanira gulped, and said, "E'hh.. Wan'team up?"_

_As casually as he could, the love-struck Uchiha nodded, seemingly not paying attention to a godamned word coming out of her mouth. Although that was, ultimately the mirrored truth._

_They walked for a few moments in silence (AUGH! I HATE THAT!), not actually making an inward attempt to locate anything, besides the right words to say to one another._

_Sasuke having the better luck of the two, in the last area..._

_"Listen," He started. Yanira looked up at him, not sure what to expect, "I'm really sorry about that thing..." The thing which will remain nameless. "I was kind of lost in my own thoughts... And I wasn't sure what to-"_

_"Neh.. Don' twis' the story like 'dat!" She cut him off, blushing despite all of her efforts not to, "I kin'a though'it might be goin' there... Guess eh'was wrong."_

_Sasuke shook his head, "No, I __**was**__ taking it there... And I'm __**really**__ sorry for putting you in a situation like that..." He confessed neutrally. It was weird, apologizing for something like that... Something didn't feel right.._

_Yanira was voiceless as he said this, attempting to compose herself. Unbeknownst to him, she was under the impression that he hadn't meant to confess anything at all, and now thought herself a fool... Very anti-egotistical._

_Finally sommoning up the words, she said, "Ain't lettin'ye take the blame for'at. Twas my bad..."_

_"No-"_

_"FOUND IT!"_

_Sasuke then spent the next few minutes, trying to vaporize the blond with his mind... With no favorable results._

_They rushed over to where the cry came from, to find Naruto floating in the pool with a grin._

_"Naruto... Where's the stuff?"_

_He pointed down. And now that he looked, the Uchiha could make out the shapes of crates and chests, as it wasn't very deep._

_"Wow... Why does this remind me of the Count of Monte Kristo?"_

_"Hidden underwater fortune?.."Naruto offered, never shedding his excided face._

_..._

_"Hold it right there!" Cried a masculine voice from behind them. The whole part whirled around (no one had been paying attention to anything right then) to see a sizeable troop of Kiri-nin, who were being led by..._

_"Fat merchant guy?" Cried Naruto in disbelief, gawking at the merchant, who clearly __**hadn't**__ been killed._

_He snarled at him, "Correct, twerp! I was hidden below deck!"_

_"But how?"_

_"An agent, placed among the troop of pirates that 'raided' us... He made sure I survived, and it is regrettable that he was killed off with the rest of that rubbish." He shook his head, "But shit happens. So, I stowed away, out of sight until we reached the Crescent. Where I was-"_

_Sasuke glanced at Naruto, and whispered, "Doesn't this count as monologuing?"_

_The blond in question shrugged, "Depends... Is he the bad guy right now?"_

_"Well..." Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes, "He's been involved with an elaborate, and perfectly legal plot, probably to recover Kiri's fortune..." He paused, tuning into the explanation for a moment._

_"-who's interest was piqued when she heard my proposition about the treas-"_

_"And then there's us... Sleeping through a slaughter, killing an agent, then banding together with a group of criminals..." He finished, deadpanning, "What do __**you**__ think?"_

_"Hmm..." Naruto pondered this for a second, before nodding, "Your right, he __**is**__ the bad guy!"_

_"But, no matter how badly I wish for you two to die..." The merchant grumbled, "She has requested your presence. Something about rewar-"_

_"Fuck! Now we're bad guys!" The Jinchuriki threw his hands in the air, exhasperated._

_"How so?"_

_"The evil overlord of the operation sent her henchman to fetch us so she can reward us!"_

_Sasuke slapped his forehead, seeing the truth in the statement._

_"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!" They looked up, and kind of realized that they had been overly loud with that last bit, effectively cutting him off._

_As it had done so long ago, the two immediately shut their mouthes._

_The merchant waddled away (waddle waddle), leaving the Kiri's to deal with the situation._

_Sasuke turned to Yanira, reasoning that he hadn't much time._

_"Listen, I meant everything I said, and-"_

_"Don'lie Saskae... Can'stand hearin' lies no more..." She edged in coldly, but Sasuke could see that she was holding back tears... And was no doubt pissed._

_"But I-"_

_"S'op talkin'... 'Fore I slap ye'..."_

_And thus, on such unfriendly terms, him and the blond were dragged off from their party of pirates, most of which were doubtlessly executed soon after. All to go meet some scary-as-hell Mizukage about a completed mission, which they hadn't actually known about._

_She seemed to pay no more notice to him, as their hands were bound, and they were forced into single-file. Sasuke remembered thinking to himself..._

_'I... Will never forget...'_

_-__**End Flashback (FINALLY)-**_

"And thats why Sasuke was being a broody bitch all-of-a-sudden!" Naruto finished cheerily, acting as if the story had ended happily, with princesses and dead dragons. But Kurenai saw past that hastily put up wall, and saw guilt... His guilt, for letting shit like that happen.

She sighed, looking up at the stars, which seemed to sparkle beyond comparison for some random reason... "Figures he'd go for the dangerous type..."

Naruto laughed, "Thats what I thought!"

-_**With the brooder**_-

'_And now... I hear that she's alive..._'

The Onyx-eyed prodigy shook his head thoughtfully, "Maybe she'll let me SAY something about that thing! But I doubt it..."

He smirked, but in less of an angsty way, and in more of a joyful way...

"Stubborn bitch..."

-**End Chapter Two**-

**Augh... That one took forever to write! Jesus, all this romance really takes it's toll...**

**Still like it? Still hate it? Cool! As long as I've maintained your expectations, its all good.**

**I'm trying REEAALLLY hard, not to make this A/N like, fifty pages long... But yeah, see the difference?**

**Anyway, drop a review, leave, a spam, or flame me to shit. **

**The aspiring to be awesome, and hopefully Mythicatalyst!**


	3. Casino Royale

**Title: The Dynamic Duo**

**Summary (full): Naruto and Sasuke are good friends, and have a mind for mischief... And metal... Kidding! These are the recounts of their many adventures across the Elemental Nations. Most of which involve international incidents which put the villages at each others throats... But its all fun and games! Until someone gets pissed at someone else and tries to scoop out their eyes... Not that we know anyone who would do that. **

**Welcome back, one and all! I am deeply enjoying myself as I write this, as this... **

***drumroll***

**Is...**

**CHAPTER THREE!**

**Heh heh... You thought I was going to say 'Sparta' didn't you?**

***Cough***

**Now, for my responces...**

**-**_**Review Notes**_**-**

_Jenndude5_**: **

**It seems to me, that your looking like a reg. to this story, which is very flattering. (I appreciate the add to your community)**

**So I'd like you to know that I considered your advice about the flash-backs... And I have made a serious decision!**

**Ahem...**

**'Hear yee, hear yee! **

**The grand master Mythicatalyst, has decreed that flashbacks, are a thing of the past! Literally! And that they should remain there! As such, the things that would normally appear in flashbacks, will simply be computed into inside jokes! **

**Thats it, go home.'**

**... Well, as seriously as I can get, when writing a crack-fic.**

**Speaking of which, how cracked is 'so obviously cracked that it isn't even funny anymore'? That in itself, is a scary concept... But, I kinda feel proud, to have cracked this fic up so much. Yeah... Crack it up! (Got me thinking about drugs... Which I don't do by the way...)**

**And whoah dude, whoah... Your sister got flamed out? Damn, if I could, I would do something terribly violent to them... But you know what they say! Going to hate, haters are! (Yoda Version)**

**Have a good day!**

_Guest_**:**

**A valid point; I thought that Shippuden was too late to begin any kind of plot, because Akatsuki would be making their move and it would fuck shit up. So yeah, three year training trip hasn't happened... **

**And it might not, since one of the main reasons Jiraiya took him was to train him to bring back Sasuke.**

**And unless some weird stuff happens really soon, Sasuke won't be leaving. Orochimaru might have other plans though... MWAHAHAHAHA!**

_Athla_**:**

**I agree. I was sick of his angsty ways, and decided that converting him for the comedic was in order. I liked him well enough in the original Naruto though...**

**And don't worry, I didn't just spend three hours writing, and rewriting up Yanira so that she could be the one to **_**not**_** get Sasuke. Unless there's a nuclear holocaust and everyone dies... Then its okay.**

**Thanks for the support!**

**Now, for the Chapter with the title, that has nothing to do with James Bond's Casino Royale. (Yet.)**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three: Casino Royale**

After roughly two hours of angsting, brooding, and having terribly lengthy flashbacks, Naruto and Kurenai had met back up with Sasuke at the donut shop.

... And by donut shop, I, of course mean taylor... *Cough*

And it was quite the scene... Naruto was laying on the floor, beaten within an inch of his life, Sasuke was standing nearby, having pulled most of his emotions together from _you know what_. And Kurenai was standing, rather opposingly, over the wounded blond, flaming him to shit.

"Furthermore, I specifically told _YOU_!" She whireled around, pointing at the taylor, who was casting a very poor poker-face.

"To make it 'ATTRACTIVE'!" She gestured to the custom-made pirate outfit, "How is-"

"Shut up... God.." Sasuke broke in, rubbing his temples in agitation, "Ain't nobody got time for this..."

Naruto nodded dumbly, from his fetal position on the floor, "Yeah, we got to get ourselves moving!"

Kurenai raised her hand, about to beat the shit out him again, before groaning in defeat, "Fine!" She stated lowly, glaring at Naruto.

She slowly walked into the dressing room and proceeded to change into her costume.

**(CENSORED)**

"This shirt is too small!"

Naruto raised his hand up and called back, "Its supposed to be like that!"

"..."

"..."

"You are going to die..."

The product of the taylor's perversely dignified work was, as Naruto so eloquently put it before, such as 'a cosplaying hooker'.

'**Yes... Now is the time, strike when she is weak...**'  
'_How about... No._'  
'**Impudent mortal! I WILL BE FREE! AND WILL SUFFER A FATE, WORSE THAN ANY-**'  
Sasuke promptly tuned the voice out, a skill that Naruto had instructed him in shortly after the... Ordeal. *Cough*

However, for the sake of Kurenai's dignity (what little remains), I refuse to describe the outfit; (which, if illustrated verbally, by a professional perv, would no doubt make you jizz all over your computer. Mercy, eh?)

Naruto had a bandana, a pipe, some ripped jeans, sneakers and a brown leather trench-coat. While Sasuke was in his usual Pirate attire, (Deja-vū much?)

"Okay! Lets-"

"Do we have a-"

"I booked us a spot..." Naruto paused, glancing at the clock, "Ten minutes ago."

"For?"

"Ten minutes from now."

Sasuke sighed (He does that a lot...), and they swiftly strolled off.

-_**Grand Radimaz Casino**_-

Naruto walked up to the entry way, where a dark suspiscious figure was standing.

He whipped out a suitcase (same one) and handed it to the guy, whispering, "You know what to do..."

"Huh?.."

He nodded, walking away.

Kurenai looked at Sasuke, "What wa-"

"Heheh!" The blond pulled out a giant scroll and put a check mark on something.

Sasuke sighed, "Naruto's bucket list... I guess 'walk up to a total stranger, hand him a suitcase, say "you know what to do" and walk away' was on it..."

"Right you are!"

With that odd event out of the way, they walked in.

"Don't we have to turn in our Reservation?" The Jounin asked, having gotten used to not knowing what the fuck was happening half the time.

Naruto tilted his head at her, "This is the common sector, we're high rollers! So we go to the top!" He grinned, shuffling his way through the crowd and towards the stair-well.

It was awkward for Kurenai, as she found herself resisting the urge to blush... And not in a 'your too kind' way, but in a 'I can't believe I'm wearing this shit' way. The present males in the room, of which there were many, seemed to be glued to one feature in particular. Which made Crimson eyes _very_ uncomfortable...

'_Mmm dat plot..._'

That is what they were all thinking, except Sasuke. Cause he's cool like that.

'**DEVOUR THAT FERTILE WHORE!**'

Most of him, anyway.

They were about to enter the stair-well, when a massive black guy with an eye-patch and a short, blue beard stopped them, by holding up a sign that said 'STOP'. (Totally no racism here. (And if there is, it is strictly comedic))

"Dude, nice sign!" Naruto clamored, gazing at it with awe.

The dude smirked, "Thank'ya biatch. Bought this shit at the Earth."

"How much?"

"65 ryo mothafucka."

The blond whistled, "Sweet."

The man coughed, "Anyway... Can't let you shits go up there."

"Why?" Sasuke grunted nonchalantly.

"Yo' ain't got the balls yet."

"Huh?"

The guy scratched his chin, "Ain't got any hair!"

"Wha?"

"FUCK! Yo' too young! Gotta be eighteen!"

Naruto made an 'Ooohhh' face, before whipping out a card, "This ID should take care of that!"

He scrunched his nose as he read it, "Bitch... This ain't no ID, this's a library card!" He deadpanned.

"Old enough to read, old enough to gamble!" The blond cried, crossing his arms in defiance.

"Ain't flyin"

Naruto turned around and huddled with Sasuke and Kurenai.

"Okay, what do we do? Should we Shoot him?"

"Cut out his tongue." Sasuke offered.

"Shoot him and cut out his tongue! And then shoot the tongue!"

"Maybe shave that scraggly bear-"

"Oh for the love of..." Kurenai whirled around.

"Whatever, get these shits outta-OAHHHH YEAHH!" The guard was then reduced to an unconscious corpse with blood flowing out of his nose like a geyser.

Kurenai, blushing furiously (seems to be a common occurrence), pulled her shirt back down and glared at the two Genins, who were holding their noses closed and staring at the ceiling. Hoping to avoid dire pain in the near future.

"This doesn't leave the building... Got it?"

They nodded dumbly.

She sighed, looking away.

"Okay then..." Sasuke said slowly. After finally realizing what had happened, he started walking up the stairs, Naruto was about to follow, when.

"Wait!" He cried out of nowhere.

The spiky-haired boy ran over to the corpse and grabbed the sign, "I'll take this!"

Sasuke face-palmed himself, "Naruto, why?"

"This sign is kickass!"

"Of course."

With that being said they hurried up the stairs and into a large chamber, with gold plated pillars surrounded the circular center of the room, which had a marble floor with rubies indented into cool looking spots. There were ripped and torn red banners with strange symbols aligning the walls, which also looked fabulous. Looked like a War-Council chamber, but it was obviously a gambling room. (Duh!)

There were seven ominous figures, seated on bronze thrones with lion claws on the arms (Very descriptive this chapter, just felt like doing that today. :D) and were situated around an oak table.

Naruto quickly discarded his joyous face, and took on one that was completely serious, and betrayed no emotion… Actually, they looked exactly the same, but had different uses.

"Greetings sir," He turned to look at a masked figure, who was totally suspicious, "Might I see your reservation?" Naruto pulled out the slip and handed it to the man.

He strutted forward fearlessly, not a care in the world to the oblivious observer. But realistically, he was trying to determine which one of the fat fuckers in the room was Captain Mercotel. '_Maybe the only one who __**isn't**__ fat… And the only one that actually looks like a pirate…_'

His eyes found him eventually, an athletic man, a black trench-coat, a ripped up fedora with a feather in it, and some huge black boots. He had a big red beard and some golden earrings. (O.o)

"Uzumaki, welcome to the game." And elderly man with an eye patch greeted him in a half warmly, half 'I hate your rotten guts' way.

"Please, have a seat." Naruto nodded, and was about to do just that, when Kurenai grabbed his arm and whispered into his ear.

"We know who he is, why don't we just beat them all up and interrogate him?"

The blond blinked, "Can't we win all their money first?"

"We get the money anyway…"

Naruto sighed, "Fine…" He looked to Sasuke, who seemed to know exactly what he meant.

'_Fire style: Grand Fireball technique!_'

The room was, shortly thereafter, flooded with the Uchiha's signature flames.

He continued blowing until he had emptied his lungs. And smoke started filling the room.  
(He does a good blow-job)

"Sasuke! What the fuck?! You burne-"

"That's what you-"

"Yeah, but you KILLED HIM!" Naruto gestured to the figure, which _used_ to be Captain Mercotel, but was now a pile of ash with a trench-coat on it.

"Hmm…" Sasuke scratched his chin thoughtfully, "Not _exactly_ how I saw that playing out…"

"And YOU!" Naruto whirled on Kurenai (This feels reminiscent of the beginning of the chapter…), "Friendless, helpless, brainless! Do you want me to send you back, to where I found you?! Unemployed, in gre-""

Sasuke smacked him, "Dude, your quoting Princess Bride again."

"Ohh…" Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "Again?.. Sorry Kurenai-sensei."

She shrugged, having quite gotten used to the antics of the two.

Sasuke sighed, "Are there any links we could find?"

"Impersonate his people and find his plans?" Kurenai offered.

Naruto picked up the deceased's trench-coat, and peered into the pockets.

"Pillage and destroy 'till we find Ya-I mean…." The Uchiha coughed, "Sichiro?"

He pulled out some papers, and went over them quickly.

"Maybe we should snoop around the headquarters for info…"

"Guys…" Naruto whispered absent-mindedly, his eyes narrowing.

"Find the nearest brothel?"

"Guys."

"Huh? I thought you hated that idea?"

"Sounds like a solid plan to-"

"GUYS!"

"Dude… Take a chill pill…"

"These papers-"

"So we-"

"He's at the po-"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "With pirates, did you expect him to be anywhere else?"

"Certainly not!" Naruto cried in response, putting his hands on his hips.

"… What?" Kurenai weakly asked, not sure _at all_ what had been said. The two looked at her oddly, before Naruto made an 'oohhhh' face (again). "Right, you don't know the code yet…"

"Do we have a Codex yet?"

"Nah, I'll get Nathan and Bartholomew to write it up. They like that stuff anyway."

Sasuke nodded, turning to Kurenai, his eyes trying their best not to drift down to the more interesting parts of her body… Her eyes, of course (*cough*).

'**Mmm... Your quest to revive your clan starts here… Take her now!**'  
'_How about… Fuck that shit?_'  
'**How about… Fuck, THAT shit!**'

"Anyway, the idiot found some papers, which say that Sichiro is at the easternmost port, and that they cast off with him, and some wacky invention, tomorrow at Noon."

The scantily clad Jounin blinked incredulously, "How did you pick all of that up, from those fragments?"

Naruto threw his arm around her shoulder, although _his_ temptation was _very_ short-lived, and soon found himself staring, downwards… "Well, Kurenai-chan, that's just a link me and him share. The details of which are kind of classified!"

Seemingly un-noticing of the blonde's gaze (and his use of the '_chan_' suffix), Kurenai filed this information into her mental report.

'_Some science experiment? That ended in them sharing a mental bond? It would make sense…_'

'_Damn… Got some tits in there…_'

'_Get out of my head, fuckstick._'

Naturally, they were all entitled to their own respective thoughts...

"I told ya! Them bitches ran upstairs, an' I smell som'in burnin up!"

Naruto stroked his non-existent beard thoughtfully, "I think it would be wise to vacate... Like, right now."

The other two nodded.

After much deliberation, it was decided that they would be staying in the worst motel known to man-kind, which shall remain anonymous... And that they would go and find Sichiro at the port the following morning.

-**End Chapter-**

**Damn... That was shorter than I thought! I apologize for taking up otherwise valuable time with like, twenty five hundred words. Shame on me!  
(I usually try to keep it at about 5,000 words...)**

**Anyway, thanks for the read, and I'm sorry it took so long to write this out. I was having trouble figuring out where the hell it was going.**

**Nonetheless, I still like it, and you will doubtlessly see more updates in the near future.**


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